


wide awake in the witching hour

by sugarbug



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Magic, Minor Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Urban Fantasy, just a hint of angst, mostly just fluff and self discovery, oikawa is a witch, suga is not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22286569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarbug/pseuds/sugarbug
Summary: koushi doesn't have a drop of mystical blood in his body, but tooru thinks he's nothing short of pure magic.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 60





	1. wildflower garden growing in my head

It was a Thursday—one of Tooru’s favorite days of the week because it meant that one of his best friends would stop by for lunch and lounge around for an hour before heading back to work. After stuffing themselves with takeout from the place next door, Tooru was back to flipping through catalogs while Koushi was curled up in one of the armchairs near the window.

“Do you think you could make something for Shimizu? She got a cold from one of her coworkers, but she has this huge event she has to run this weekend.” Koushi tore his eyes away from the book he was reading and looking over to where Tooru was sitting behind the counter.

“Hm? Yeah, sure! I can drop it off tonight after work, if that’s okay?”

“Perfect!”

Tooru probably stared too long at the sweet smile Koushi was flashing him, but that was nothing new. He’d been completely enamored with his friend since Koushi first moved into the apartment beside his own. Tooru didn’t waste time making friends with people, and Koushi was equally as amicable, so they’d become inseparable almost immediately. 

Koushi had moved to New York from a small town with very little magic, and the city entranced him. Tooru had grown up in the city, and while he couldn’t imagine living anywhere else, the past two years _Koushi_ had been the most entrancing thing to _him._

Koushi bid him farewell not long after, yawning and giving a sleepy wave. Tooru shook his head fondly, yelling out, “Stop staying up so late reading articles, nerd!”

“You’re the nerd! Magical chemist nerd!” Koushi laughed, his laugh catching in the air and replaying in Tooru's head long after the other was gone.

Tooru dropped his head on his desk. He took a deep breath before standing and gathering ingredients for a potion that would hopefully relieve Koushi’s friend from her cold. His heart went out to her. It was spring, and that meant wedding season was in full swing. Now was not the time to be feeling under the weather.

After sealing the potion and tucking it in his bag, he went back to sifting through catalogs for products he might want to add to their inventory. He’d hate to admit it because he hated to paint himself as such a dork, but it was a task he loved doing. The potion-making community never failed to release the most interesting products, and his shop was embarrassingly overstocked because of his lack of restraint.

Not a day passed when he wasn’t grateful that he’d landed his dream career. After starting out posting advertisements on Craigslist and Reddit, he’d finally managed to scrape together enough money from his freelancing to open a proper shop. He’d always wanted to become a potion master, no matter how much his family had insisted he was destined to be an astrologer.

He loved potion-making because _he_ got to decide the final outcome. He only felt like a channel in astrology, and he didn’t like the thought of the stars controlling his fate. 

Still, when he walked from the subway station to his apartment that night and was bathed in the light of the moon, he knew there was some truth to their words. He glanced up at the moon and felt his fingertips prickle and a chill roll down his spine. He shuddered, ignoring it as he entered his complex and climbed the steps up to his floor.

He opened his own apartment first, toeing his shoes off and dropping his jacket on the couch. He rummaged through his bag until he found the violet potion he’d made earlier in the day. He left his apartment, taking two steps to his left and knocking on Koushi’s door.

He heard a muffled, “It’s unlocked!”

Tooru opened the door, making his way into Koushi’s apartment. He spent a good bit of his time in his neighbor’s flat, and he felt just as comfortable in it as he did his own.

Koushi’s apartment was cozy. The sheer number of books could trick you into thinking it was a library, but they were muted by the hanging plants that spilled over the bookshelves. Potted flowers sat on his coffee table, and the entire living room was illuminated by glowing orbs. Tooru remembered the way Koushi had gushed over them at IKEA, and they’d left with a dozen in the shopping cart.

Tooru yelped when he nearly tripped over a stack of novels near the entrance to the kitchen. “Have you been buying more books you plan on never reading?”

“They’re for a rainy day.”

“I think you buy them just to plant as traps for me to hurt myself.”

“You caught me.” Koushi deadpanned. “My entire existence revolves around plotting your demise, one book at a time.”

“You’d be but one of many.” Tooru grinned as he made his way into the kitchen and saw Koushi at the stove.

“I don’t think there’s enough room in my apartment for you _and_ your massive ego.” Koushi said, and Tooru only snickered.

Have you eaten yet?” Koushi asked. Tooru spotted mixed vegetables in the pan, and his stomach grumbled at the sight. 

Koushi laughed. “I’ll take that as a no.”

“Where do you want me to set the thing for Shimizu?” Tooru asked as he opened Koushi’s cabinets and pulled out some plates.

“Oh, just on the coffee table near my keys is fine. My wallet should be there. Just grab however much I owe you out of it.”

Tooru rolled his eyes. It was a simple enough potion to make as it was, but he never charged Koushi for anything, regardless of how much and how often the other insisted on paying him.

Koushi must have caught his eye roll because he sent a punch into Tooru’s arm.

“Ow!” Tooru whined. “You’re feeding me. That’s payment enough as it is.”

Koushi rolled his eyes right back.

Koushi was an excellent chef, and Tooru might have painted him a kitchen witch had he not known better. Every dish he made was flavored to perfection, even if his heat tolerance was a bit higher than Tooru’s.

“How was the rest of your afternoon?”

“It was okay, except those obnoxious middle schoolers showed up again! They keep charming the flowers outside to spark every time people walk by! It’s scaring off customers!” Tooru began to blather on about the preteens who’d been terrorizing him while Koushi just hummed every now and then in reply.

“I was thinking about going to visit Tadashi this weekend. Wanna come?” Koushi asked as he scraped his plate clean, Tooru finally winding down from his rant.

“Sure! Business going well for him?” Tooru leaned his cheek on his palm, watching as Koushi grabbed their empty plates and set them in the sink.

“Exceedingly well! He’s having a little festival this Saturday to mark the start of spring.”

“Cute.” Tooru smiled.

* * *

And it _was_ cute, Tooru thought, as they strolled through the festival in front of Tadashi’s nursery. They were about an hour out of the city in a county famous for nature-based magic.

Tadashi was no outlier. He knew how to coax any plant to grow, what they needed to flourish, which plants made for the best potions and brews.

“Hey! You came!” He exclaimed when he saw Koushi and Tooru. “I miss you. I wish you would drop by more.”

“We wish _you’d_ make a trip to the city more often.” Tooru pouted. “There’s a new botanical museum that just opened up, and you _have_ to see the ancient texts they have on display.”

Tadashi laughed, and he was almost too pretty. His energy had reminded Tooru of Koushi’s immediately. They both glowed with unabashed joy and compassion. Tadashi’s presence was a bit more electric though because of his abilities.

“Next month! I promise.” He smiled. “I have to talk with a few clients, but take a look around at everything, and make sure you find me before you leave, okay? I have some stock I need to get rid of, and I know you’ll find a place for it in that apartment of yours.”

He directed his last comment to Koushi with a grin before bouncing off. Tadashi had a way of making you feel comfortable no matter what, and Tooru was still shocked that he’d only known him a little over a year and a half. He’d been a high school friend of Koushi’s and one of the few good childhood friends that lived close enough for Koushi to visit.

“Well, you heard the man! Let’s walk around!” Tooru said, draping his arm around Koushi’s shoulder and dragging him through the nursery’s grounds.

There were various stalls set up, selling pendants and giving out freebies to guests. There were some food vendors too, and Tooru stopped to pick up some cotton candy.

“You are getting it _everywhere_.” Koushi laughed, dragging his thumb across the neon blue crystal candy sticking to Tooru’s jaw.

Tooru grinned even though his face was heating up under Koushi’s touch, and he was ready to reply with something that probably borderlined more on flirty than friendly when he was stopped by someone approaching them.

“Hey! I recognize you.” A younger girl stopped in front of them, a few of her friends lurking behind. “You’re part of the Oikawa family, aren’t you?”

Tooru spun around, any quick-witted reply for Koushi swiped from his brain. He opened his mouth to reply, but the stranger just plowed on.

“I think my brother went to school with you. I’ve heard your family has really strong astrological magic. Would you give me a reading? I don’t have a lot of money on me right now, but—”

“I’m not an astrologer.” Tooru cut her off, scowling.

The stranger blinked, looking a bit taken aback. “But you _are_ part of the Oikawa family, right? Your face is definitely familiar.”

“Yes, but I don’t practice astrology.” Tooru said sharply.

“Well, my brother told me the astrology market is crazy good right now. Pretty stupid of you not to use your talen—”

“Sorry, but we actually have a lot of ground to cover still.” Koushi stopped the girl mid-sentence, voice firm but gentle. He wrapped his fingers around Tooru’s wrist and pulled him away before he could blow a fuse.

Tooru was too caught up replaying the conversation in his head that he didn’t realize they’d stopped walking until Koushi said, “Hey, have a seat.”

Tooru blinked, looking around. Koushi was sitting on a bench that overlooked the orchard that sat behind the nursery. Tooru sat down, taking a deep breath and staring at the trees that were just starting to grow full with shiny new leaves.

“Sorry.” Tooru murmured after a few minutes of silence. “I just get flustered.”

“I thought you handled it really well.” Koushi shrugged, then followed up with a lazy smile, “I could tell she wasn’t going to shut up anytime soon though, so I thought it best to intervene.”

“She really was going at it, huh?” Tooru laughed lightly, a feeling of relief rushing over his body.

Koushi had told Tooru within weeks of meeting that he had been born without any magical abilities. No mystical parentage. No werewolf blood. No fae ancestors. Just a plain, regular human.

Tooru, in turn, had told him about his family’s legacy as one of the strongest magical families on the continent and the expectations his family had laid out for him. He hadn’t elaborated much on it, only saying he hadn’t wanted to pursue astrology the way everyone else in his family had.

“It’s hard.” Tooru admitted a few seconds later.

Koushi waited, knowing there was more hanging onto those words. He leaned his shoulder against Tooru’s gently.

“I…wish I could practice it sometimes.” Tooru struggled with the words because they’d been sitting in his chest for _years_ , but he hadn’t felt comfortable enough to let them out. “It’s like, I feel restless? I want to be doing it, speaking with the stars.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“I’ve seen the way it consumes people. I don’t want…to let the celestial world control _my_ world. I know that’s stupid. My life is consumed by magic, so it only makes sense that celestial magic should control it, but—”

“I don’t think it’s stupid.”

“You don’t?” Tooru turned to Koushi.

“It’s not stupid to want to control your destiny.” Koushi shrugged. “I love getting readings, honestly. To me, it’s always felt more like guidance or a set of options, rather than an absolute.”

“You don’t think the stars control your destiny?” Tooru said. His tone edged on that of teasing, but it was a genuine question. He always felt like he was bound to rejecting it lest he fall victim to astrology controlling his every move.

Koushi met his gaze head on, hazel eyes alight under the sun and far more serious than Tooru expected. “Do I look like someone who’d let the stars stop them?”

The sunlight kissed Koushi’s cheeks, giving him an ethereal glow. A breeze sent Koushi’s bangs flying into his eyes and tickling his nose, and he let out a massive laugh. “Ah, that was almost the perfect dramatic moment, huh?”

Tooru would have bet anything in that moment that Koushi was magic incarnate.

* * *

“So, I’ve been thinking a bit about what you said.” Tooru said the following week when he and Koushi were shuffling up the steps of the subway station.

It was rare that they’d leave work at the same time. Koushi had a degree in the study and treatment of mystical creatures and worked as a vet tech. Typically Koushi dealt more with walk-in clients than assisting with overnight patients, so he was usually cut loose earlier than Tooru’s shop closed up.

He’d stayed late that night working on reports and researching a rare case of color-changing scales on a baby dragon and had met Tooru in time to commute home together. It was a rarity, but Tooru enjoyed the company.

Walking home at night already made him feel jumpy, the way the sky lit up making his skin feel electric. Walking home at night with Koushi made him even more wired, the slightest brush of hands making him feel like he was going to start short-circuiting.

“Oh? What exactly did I say?”

“How you don’t think astrology has to be an absolute, unchangeable thing. That it’s more like guidance.”

“Ah, yeah. I think it’s really only recently that people have started to use it to dictate their every move.” Koushi said. “Magic is all about manipulation and using it to your advantage, right? There’s no reason you can’t adhere that same principle to astrology.”

“Let me practice giving readings on you.” Tooru blurted out.

Koushi blinked in surprise. “Oh, um. Sure?”

“Sorry, I just thought since you said you enjoyed getting readings,” Tooru ran a hand through his hair nervously, “and since you’re really the only one I’ve told about this whole…thing.”

“Not even Hajime?” Koushi raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t want him to make fun of me.” Tooru muttered. “I have an image to keep up!”

He groaned when Koushi socked him in the stomach. “He wouldn’t make fun of you, stupid. He’s your best friend.”

Tooru whined, only perking up when he heard Koushi say, “I’d be fine with that though. Helping you practice giving readings, I mean.”

Tooru straightened up and smiled, and he felt like maybe the moon was smiling a little down on him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howdy!!!!!! so the summary doesn't quite give way to what the story is actually about, but i hope this gives ya an idea of where it's going. also this is like .. kind of edited, so if u see any errors lmk pls efgrhfsj
> 
> i don't typically like to post things in chapters, but i thought this would be best split up into parts and i was too eager to start posting it so ...... ANYWAYS, feedback always appreciated! oikawa is painted a lil more reserved in this than i think he typically is, but he's gonna go a little crazy stupid in the next chapter so :^)


	2. tell me why i feel so insincere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> strap in, it's a long one folks

“So, I don’t really know if I want to give chart readings yet, but I really liked collecting tarot and oracle card decks when I was younger, so I thought maybe I could work my way into it by giving readings with those first?” Tooru said when Koushi had stopped by his apartment a few nights later.

“I think that’s a great idea!”

“Cool! What do you want to get out of this reading?” Tooru asked as he rummaged through his closet for candles.

“Oh, jeez.” Koushi laughed. “I don’t know, I didn’t really think about it. I’ve only ever gotten general chart readings. Should I look it up?”

“Yes! When has the internet ever misled us?” Tooru grinned, arms full of pink, orange, and purple candles. He set them up around the room, taking care to arrange them. He straightened up the cloth he’d draped over his coffee table before going to his room to search for his favorite card deck.

“Ah, okay! I found a pretty good list of sample questions! Maybe we could just work our way through it with each session?”

“Yeah! That sounds good!” Tooru yelled back. He finally found the oracle deck he was searching for in the back of his dresser. 

He’d always felt more comfortable with oracle cards, preferring the flexibility it gave readers. And, _okay_ , maybe he neglected to memorize the meanings of the tarot cards as a child, but that was neither here nor there. Over the years he would occasionally contemplate giving himself a reading, and these were always the cards he’d reach for before jerking his hand back and slamming the dresser drawer shut.

It was the deck he’d always felt most comfortable with as a child, and the edges of the cards were soft from the time he’d spent shuffling them and looking over them in his free time.

They were beautiful. Black cards with gold embellishments. Each one featured an animal, flowers and curling vines providing a background for them, a single word printed in gold underneath. They were nothing short of art, and he couldn’t think of a deck that better suited himself _or_ Koushi.

“Ready?” Koushi asked when Tooru was back in the living room. He’d gone to the trouble of lighting the candles, and Tooru felt something warm rise up in his chest. Where he was expecting to feel nervous and bitter, he only felt excitement and adoration.

“Yeah,” He gestured to the coffee table, “have a seat on the floor. I’ll be right there.”

Tooru flicked the living room lights off, and the light from the candles took over. Tooru went to the living room windows and pulled the curtains open. Moonlight made its way through the glass and trickled all over the room. Tooru felt at peace.

“Okay, ready?” He asked when he was seated on the floor across from Koushi.

“Yes.” Koushi smiled. Tooru could see the candlelight reflecting in his eyes. It reminded him of the dragons Koushi was so adept at treating—fearless, passionate, _magical._

“Okay.” Tooru swallowed, shuffling the deck of cards. _Now_ he was feeling nervous, but it wasn’t the cards or the magic he felt running through his veins that had him on edge. It was the way Koushi was staring at him, patient but intense.

“I have two questions I want to ask.” Koushi said when Tooru finished shuffling the cards. They sat in a neat stack on the table, the gold catching the candlelight.

“Okay.” Tooru repeated. “Both from the list?”

“Yes.” Koushi nodded.

“Alright. Why don’t you ask them out loud, and then you can draw a single card from the deck for each one? Some readers choose the cards themselves, but I prefer having the person I’m reading to choose them.”

Koushi nodded. He closed his eyes, and Tooru watched as his eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks.

“Okay, first, what do I need to focus on the most right now in my career? Second, what will help me feel more at peace in my everyday routine?” Koushi opened his eyes.

“Okay, the first card you draw will be for your first question.” Tooru splayed the deck in front of them for Koushi to choose from. “And the second will be for the second.”

“Thanks for breaking it down for me, wizard.” Koushi snorted.

“Hey! I’m just saying!” Tooru feigned hurt. “So rude.”

Koushi looked at the cards carefully, finally settling on one from the middle of the deck and one on the far right.

“Okay, flip the first one over.”

Koushi did as he was instructed. The first card was of two koi fish, their coloring and scale patterns the inverse of each other. They swam in a violet pool, and the word underneath them read _UNION._

Tooru closed his eyes, feeling the energy creeping up from his stomach, the words already ready to fall off his tongue.

“You want to reach out to someone at work, maybe a mentor? Or perhaps a coworker has been pushing you to collaborate with them on a project. You should consider moving forward with it. Working with someone else will only make your skills stronger and help you network.”

Tooru opened his eyes to see Koushi nodding, face thoughtful.

“Next card?” Koushi asked. Tooru made a noise of affirmation, and Koushi carefully flipped over the second card.

A tiger stood on a cliff face with its front paws outstretched, ready to soar across the chasm below to the mirroring cliff face on the right. Behind it was a rosy sunrise, hints of lavender streaking through the sky. _LEAP_ was printed neatly at the bottom of the card.

“There are a few ways you could read this. Though, I think because I know you well, I’m leaning more towards one or two interpretations than others.” Tooru cleared his throat, staring down at the table and tapping his fingers against it lightly. “You might be putting off doing something, but dealing with it will give you a sense of peace and relief. Alternatively, you should learn to take more chances and risks, and the payoff will give you a sense of peace—you won’t feel like you’re missing out on things, wasting opportunities. _That_ will bring you more peace in your day-to-day life.”

“Or,” Tooru looked up and cocked his head to the side, “it could be both.”

“Just say I’m boring and go,” Koushi moaned.

Tooru laughed. “I agree with the cards for once. Sometimes a lack of peace _can_ bring you more peace.

He paused before adding, “I didn’t think ever stepping back into this circle of magic would bring me peace, but I’m feeling pretty at ease right now. Sometimes it’s all about taking a leap of faith and pushing yourself to do things you’re afraid of.”

“So insightful for a guy who spilled an entire plate of barbeque wings on his lap two hours ago,” Koushi murmured with a fond smile.

“I’m never giving you a reading again.”

* * *

“So, what exactly inspired this again?”

“Have you been paying attention at all?” Tooru snapped at his best friend.

“It’s not my fault _you_ decided to barge in while _I’m_ working!” Hajime glared right back.

Tooru huffed, crossing his arms. He shifted backward and yelped when the bookshelf he’d made to lean back against slid to the side. Hajime snickered, turning back to the reports in front of him.

“You’re the worst. Stupid moving bookshelves, stupid hidden tunnels. Hate this place.”

Hajime was finishing his last year in grad school, on his way to earning a masters degree in a public health program. He had taken to spending most of his time holed up in an ancient office underneath his campus reserved for grad students. Tooru honestly wondered where Hajime’s tuition was going.

“Okay, I’m serious. Break this down for me. So, you’re doing readings for Koushi? Why?”

“I—I’m not really sure. He said some stuff after this girl was asking about my family a couple weeks ago.” Tooru scratched his cheek. “Basically said I shouldn’t worry about letting astrology control my destiny.”

Tooru sighed, sitting cross-legged on the carpet. It was old and scratchy, and it made his ankles itch.

“I thought you just didn’t like it, to be honest. You avoided it like the plague growing up.” Hajime set his pen down and raised an eyebrow at Tooru.

“I know, I know.” Tooru groaned. “I…do kind of like it? I don’t know. I like the idea of what it could be.”

“Then make it what it could be.” Hajime shrugged like it was as simple as that.

Maybe it was.

* * *

Tooru was climbing the steps up to the third floor, warm from his morning run, when he saw Koushi pulling his keys out.

“Morning, neighbor!” Tooru yelled.

Koushi turned, cracking a smile when he saw Tooru.

“Hey! Just the person I wanted to see!”

Tooru couldn’t help grinning. “Aren’t I always?”

Koushi rolled his eyes but didn’t stop smiling. “I was gonna flag you down tonight after work to talk to you, but I can’t wait that long to tell you! I probably would have caved and texted you about it at lunch anyway.”

“Oh?” Tooru raised an eyebrow. He was suddenly very aware of how gross and sweaty he probably looked. It wasn’t the first time Koushi had caught him after a run, but he knew this look didn’t exactly scream _dashing._ He ran a hand through his damp bangs self-consciously.

“So, I emailed my boss last night about this program I think would be really helpful in controlling a lot of the shelter overflows? Basically, trying to work with some of the technical high schools to create, ah,” Koushi scratched the back of his head as he searched for the words, “like, ranch-ish farm thingies?”

“Right, ranch-ish farm thingies.” Tooru nodded solemnly.

“Stop!” Koushi laughed and elbowed him. _“Anyways,_ the animals will have a permanent home, and the high schoolers in the animal-based programs will get real hands-on experience even before college.”

“That sounds like a really great idea!” Tooru agreed.

“My boss thought so too! She wants to work together on it!”

“Koushi!” Tooru grin matching Koushi’s. “Dude, that’s awesome!”

“Yeah!” Koushi smiled, placing a hand on Tooru’s arm. “I’d been thinking about it for a while, but after the reading last week…I don’t know, I felt inspired.”

Tooru’s smile softened. “I’m glad.”

“Me too. I wish sometimes…” He stepped back, clearing his throat and smiling sheepishly, “Ah, I don’t know. The leap of faith thing is still a bit hard, I guess.” 

Tooru cocked his head to the side, confused.

“Well, you’ll get there.” Tooru stepped forward and slung an arm around Koushi in a side-hug.

“Get off me! You’re gross and sweaty!” Koushi pushed at Tooru and laughing all the while.

“Nope! Winners deserve hugs, even if they’re gross and sweaty hugs!” Tooru relented though, ruffling Koushi’s hair instead. “What were you even doing up this early?”

“I treated myself to coffee and an apple danish at the cafe around the corner. Winners deserve coffee and apple danishes, but only if they’re not gross and sweaty.”

“Fair enough.” Tooru grinned.

They parted to get ready to do Adult Things, but Tooru couldn’t shake the warm feeling in bubbling up in him each time he remembered that _he_ had some sort of impact on this big thing with Koushi.

Him. He did that.

* * *

They were out for frozen yogurt that weekend to celebrate.

“I just think that it’s trying to be ice cream and coming up short.”

“It’s _good_. It’s better than ice cream. Just admit it, you coward.”

“I’m doing this for you.” Tooru pointed an accusatory pink plastic spoon at Koushi. “I will never admit to something so heinous, but I will eat this frozen yogurt because I want to celebrate this good thing with you.”

Koushi snickered, digging into his mixture of mango and lime frozen yogurt. Tooru was picking at his birthday cake yogurt much slower when he heard an absurdly loud voice.

“Koushi! Hey!”

Someone far, _far_ too tall came barreling towards their table.

“Lev!” Koushi brightened. 

Tooru narrowed his eyes at this Lev guy. Koushi had grown a pretty big friend group during his time in the city, and Tooru got along with most of them, but this guy had him on edge for some reason. It was definitely _not_ because he had sparkling eyes and shiny hair and was taller than him. It was not.

“On a date?” Lev asked sweetly.

“Oh, no.” Koushi laughed awkwardly. “This is my friend Tooru. Neighbor too, actually.”

“Nice to meet you!” Lev turned towards Tooru, gangly arms swinging dangerously at his side. “I’m Lev Haiba.”

“Lev is the reader I go to usually.” Koushi explained.

Tooru’s shoulders relaxed, but only slightly. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling competitive for any reason, but he couldn’t help it. He was competitive by nature, and this was no exception it seemed.

“Oh? Are you going to someone else now?”

“Tooru’s been practicing readings on me.”

“Ah!” Lev grinned. “That’s so cool! Koushi is so easy to read for. I should have guessed you were a reader! You give off a really powerful energy.”

“He runs a potion-making business too.”

“Wow!” Lev’s eyes widened. “I’ll have to stop in sometime! Text me the address, Koushi.”

Tooru had to keep from wincing as he imagined Lev visiting his store, long limbs knocking into anything and everything in his path. He managed a smile and nod regardless.

“Will do!”

“Well, it was great to see you, but _I_ actually have a date to get to.”

“Oh?” Koushi’s eyes gleamed. “You can fill me in on that when I send you the address.

“I will.” Lev’s smile was shy but still far too large. “Bye, Koushi! Bye, Tooru! Nice to meet you again!”

“Likewise!” Tooru smiled, watching in interest as Lev disappeared into a different corner of the shop.

“He’s a lot.” Koushi grinned.

“I’d say.” Tooru nodded. “And that’s coming from, well, me.”

Koushi laughed. “He’s surprisingly serious when he’s doing readings though. He has a really interesting energy, that’s for sure.”

“You’ve been getting readings from him for a while?” 

“Mhm.” Koushi hummed around a spoonful of frozen yogurt. “I actually went on a date with him after my first reading, like, two years ago? Right after I moved here.”

Tooru nearly choked, though he hadn’t been eating any of his frozen yogurt for the past few minutes anyways.

 _“Him?”_ Tooru whisper-yelled.

“You’re so mean.” Koushi laughed, kicking Tooru’s shin under the table. “He’s really sweet. A couple years younger though, and it definitely shows. I would never be able to keep up with him.”

“You wouldn’t be able to keep up with him _walking,_ let alone an actual relationship.”

“What,” Koushi clicked his tongue, “are you gonna police all my dates from now on?”

“I didn’t know there were any to police to begin with.” Tooru commented carefully.

“There’s not. There hasn’t been.” Koushi made eye contact with Tooru before looking down at his nearly-empty cup, cheeks a sweet pink.

“Okay.” Tooru’s well of witty things to say had apparently run dry, and he was searching for something smart to blurt out that wouldn’t expose the feelings he’d been harboring for two years.

“Wanna see that movie you said Hajime texted you about?” Koushi recovered much quicker than Tooru.

“Okay.” Tooru repeated.

His brain would reboot shortly, he assured himself.

* * *

The door to Tooru’s shop creaked open, and he looked up from his work to greet the customers. A wicked grin bloomed on his face when he saw who it was.

“Kei! It’s been too long!”

“It hasn’t been long enough.” Kei argued.

A second guy hung by his arm, bowl-cut hair with straight-across bangs hanging well above his eyebrows. The haircut would be awful on anyone else, but he seemed to be pulling it off okay. He peered around the shop, eyes wide.

“Who’s the friend?”

“This is my intern, Tsutomu.”

“Hello! It’s nice to meet you! Your store looks amazing.”

Tooru grinned at the praise. “Thank you! Very brave of you to be interning with Kei.”

Kei scoffed as Tsutomu replied brightly, “He’s an excellent mentor! I really enjoy the internship.”

“What he fails to mention is that it’s a generously paid internship.” Kei elbowed Tsutomu, who shrugged sheepishly and grinned.

“That helps too, yeah.”

Tooru heard the tell-tale bubbling of a nearly-completed potion behind him and rose from his seat, the chair squeaking beneath him. “If you’ll excuse me just a second! I have a potion brewing.”

“So, what brings you in today?” He yelled from the adjacent backroom as he stirred the cauldron. It was turning a light lavender, just as it was supposed to be. It was a sleep-inducing potion for a regular who suffered from insomnia and one of the first potions Tooru had ever learned how to make on his own.

“Ah, well, we’re bringing in a visiting exhibit on the history of potion-making, and I was looking for some local businesses to feature, and, well…”

“Wow! I’m honored!” Tooru avoided a few boxes that were laying around the room as he made his way back out to the register. “I always knew you admired my work.”

“More like it’s hard to ignore you with that big head of yours.”

“I’m often told this big head is very charming.” Tooru ran a hand through his hair, grinning when he noticed Tsutomu’s eyes following the movement.

Kei only rolled his eyes before moving on. “Anyways, do you want to be featured or not?”

“I’d love to!” Tooru clapped his hands together. “What exactly does it entail?”

“I’ll need a short bio and a picture. You can text it to Tadashi, and he can forward it to me.”

It was very in character for Kei to suggest that Tooru pass his information along through his boyfriend instead of just giving Tooru his own contact information.

“You could just give me your number, you know?”

“I’d rather not.”

“No fun.” Tooru stuck his tongue out.

He really hadn’t had the chance to interact with Kei very much, only chatting with him whenever he and Koushi would hang out with Tadashi. He wondered how well their relationship worked with Kei living in the city proper and Tadashi living and working his new business on the outskirts. Despite his more reserved demeanor, it wasn’t hard to spot the soft looks he gave Tadashi whenever they all spent time together.

“Alright, well,” Tooru pulled out some samples he had underneath the counter and shoved them towards Kei and Tsutomu, “anything else I can help you with?”

Kei narrowed his eyes as he picked up one of the mini vials, a bright pink potion sloshing around inside. “No, that’s it. What’s this?”

“Free sample!” Tooru chirped, watching with glee as Tsutomu tentatively reached out and took the other one. “It’s a potion I started working on a few weeks ago. It makes everything you eat taste like cake for about an hour after you take it.”

“Wow, that’s so cool!” Tsutomu’s eyes glittered. “Thank you!”

“Of course!” Tooru beamed.

He watched as Kei pocketed the vial, giving Tooru a brief nod before escorting a bubbly Tsutomu out of the shop, the younger guy giving an enthusiastic wave to Tooru as they left. It was nice to feel appreciated, even if it was only for a few minutes. As much as he hated to admit it out loud, he missed the constant attention he’d received in high school.

He was broken from his thoughts when he saw his phone light up on the counter.

 **_koushi:_ ** _wanna split a pizza tonight??? maybe a reading?????_

He grinned. For a Monday, it was turning out to be a pretty good day.

* * *

“We’ll have to check out the exhibit then! Did he say when it’s running?” Koushi had a slice of pizza, loaded with mushrooms and onions halfway to his mouth.

They were seated in Tooru’s living room once again, candles lit and ready for his reading to begin after they finished their pizza. Tooru had told him about Kei’s visit to his shop.

“No,” Tooru shook his head, “I should have asked. I’ll check with Tadashi when I send him the information.”

“Too funny that he wouldn’t give you his number.” Koushi laughed, bright and beautiful.

“It was _embarrassing._ He had this cute intern with him and everything.” Tooru sighed with a grin, picking at his pizza crusts.

“I don’t blame him. You spammed me with stupid Reddit posts for like 3 weeks after I gave you my number.”

“You liked all of them though!” Tooru argued.

“I just have poor taste, I suppose.” Koushi smiled, finishing his last slice of pizza. “Okay, should we do another reading?”

“Mhm.” Tooru grabbed their plates, dropping them in the sink before pulling his card deck from his room. Koushi had mimicked the ambience that they’d created during the first reading, lights dimmed and curtains open to let in the moonlight. They sat at the table as Tooru cleansed his cards before shuffling them.

“Okay, so, what’s the next question you want to use from that list?”

“What do I most need to know about myself right now?”

Tooru opted to place the cards out more purposefully this time, deciding he wasn’t in the mood to splay the deck. When he was finished, he looked up at Koushi expectantly. A minute or two passed before Koushi settled on a card towards the middle of the arrangement.

He flipped it over to reveal a shark. The water around the animal was dark, a blue so deep it could pass as black. The shark itself was a dirty white, streaks of murky blue running along its edges. The bottom of the card read _REFLECTION._

“Ah.” Tooru said. He’d pulled this card for himself several times before when he was younger, so he knew the meaning it often meant to convey. Didn’t mean he liked to dwell on it much. He knew what it meant for Koushi, but he wasn’t sure _why_ it meant what it meant.

The weird part about giving readings was that there was an intuition telling him what a card meant for someone, but he didn’t know the context behind it. He was close with Koushi, but he wasn’t privy to his every thought. The words that immediately jumped to him from the card were a bit confusing to him.

“Ah?” Koushi echoed.

“You’re…you’re not listening to a part of yourself. Or maybe you’re just listening to the wrong part of yourself.” Tooru scratched his head, trying to find the right way to phrase it. “There’s probably something bothering you. Maybe it’s been bothering you for a while?”

Koushi chewed on his bottom lip, listening quietly.

“Whatever it is, you’re keeping it to yourself. This card…from my experience, it’s often associated with isolation. Reflection is often a solitary experience, but being introspective can be hard. Sometimes you need a pack to support you along the way.”

“You know,” Koushi said finally, “I read an article recently that some studies have found that some sharks are actually pretty social.”

“Yeah?” Tooru raised an eyebrow, half-smiling. “Maybe that’s the kind of shark you need to be.”

“Maybe.” Koushi sighed, smile a bit wearier than any he’d sported earlier.

“Well,” Tooru slowly pulled the deck back together, sending Koushi didn’t want to dwell on the implications of the reading too much more, “if you ever need another shark to talk to…”

“I appreciate it.” Koushi smiled softly before his teasing nature kicked back in. “You definitely are intimidating enough to be a shark.” 

“Me? Intimidating?” Tooru pressed a hand against his chest.

“Remember when Azumane first met you?” Koushi laughed. “I think he nearly jumped out of his skin about fifty times.”

“I can’t believe he’s half-werewolf. All I did was joke around with him a bit.” Tooru shook his head, smiling. “Were _you_ intimidated by me when we first met?”

“No way.” Koushi clicked his tongue and shook his head. He grinned, far too smug for Tooru’s liking. “I’m a shark too apparently, remember?”

* * *

Tooru _wished_ he was as intimidating as a shark when he arrived to unlock his shop the next day. Standing in front of the door was someone all too familiar, someone he had hoped to avoid for as long as humanly possible. He had a sick feeling he knew why they were there.

“Mom.”

His keys hung loosely in his fingers. The woman turned to face him. Her brown hair fell down in gentle curls, a purple cloak pulled over her shoulders. She had never strayed far from traditional witch culture, and Tooru’s stomach twisted as she analyzed him.

“Tooru.”

“You’ve heard.”

It wasn’t that the magic community was small. Witches ran abound in masses, but when someone from such a powerful family started practicing again…well, Tooru wasn’t surprised that word had slipped out.

“Only whisperings.” His mother shrugged. “It was more that I could sense it.”

Tooru looked away, annoyed. He didn’t doubt that she was telling the truth. Their family’s magic was so strong, so unique that there was a bond between blood relatives that stretched beyond the physical.

“I wish you would have told me. We could use you at the business, you know.”

“Maybe you’ve forgotten, but I run my _own_ business.” Tooru frowned and gestured towards the shop they were standing in front of.

“You could be doing so much more than this.” His mother pulled her cloak tighter to her shoulders. The beginnings of spring weren’t even to shut out the chilly early mornings in the city.

“I like what I do.” Tooru argued because he _did._ Potion-making was fun and creative and a practice he had no trouble incorporating his own style into. “I’m not interested in being a pawn in the stupid games you play back home.”

“I don’t understand how you can talk to me like that.” His mother scoffed. “We offered to teach you _everything._ You could have been one of the most powerful witches in the world if you actually put some effort into it.”

“I don’t care about stuff like that!” Tooru yelled. “I don’t want to become someone who is blind to the damage they do just because they were born with an advantage over others!”

His mother blinked at this, clearly taken aback at his outburst.

He hated what his family had done with their gifts. They preyed on the weak, using their readings and power to help the elite stay ahead and maintain as much influence as they possibly could. Even his sister had fallen victim to their trap, becoming one of the most popular readers in the country. 

It was ignorant of them to think they had the final say over someone’s lives just because they had a powerful connection with the celestial world. He didn’t want to turn out like that, no matter how large of an ego he was teased for having.

“You’re pathetic.” His mother bit out finally. She didn’t wait for a response, turning to leave before Tooru could spit something back.

He didn’t know how long he stood there. He had watched his mom take off down the sidewalk, watching her back until she was just a spot turning a corner and disappearing under the sunrise. He startled when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Hey.” Koushi smiled softly, giving Tooru a quizzical look. “Everything okay?”

“Why are you here?” Tooru asked numbly. It probably sounded a bit rude, but he was still feeling fuzzy and upset in the head. Koushi seemed out of place in the scene, his energy too positive and bright to belong in this corner of Tooru’s life.

“Thought I’d bring you some coffee before I clocked in.” Koushi didn’t seem perturbed by Tooru’s question, simply pulling Tooru’s arm from his side and pressing an iced coffee into his hand. “What’s going on?”

Tooru thought about lying, saying everything was fine. Maybe Koushi wasn’t the type of person he needed to weigh down with his family’s problems. Maybe he often overestimated their closeness. He wasn’t Hajime, he hadn’t grown up with Tooru and seen him flinch under the disappointed looks that his family was prone to throwing his way.

But Koushi just kept staring at him with the same patience he always had. His hand had moved to Tooru’s forearm, fingers pressing against his windbreaker and filling him with a warmth that he couldn’t ever imagine finding anywhere else.

“My mom,” Tooru’s voice finally broke the silence, “she was standing outside waiting for me when I came to open up.”

“Oh,” Koushi frowned, tightening his grip on Tooru’s arm, “did you guys talk?”

“Kind of.” Tooru laughed bitterly. “It was more of an argument than a conversation. She found out that I’ve been giving you readings, and she’s trying to coerce me into coming back to work for them and honing my magic.”

“Maybe we should drop the readings then?” Koushi offered.

“No!” The iced coffee in his hand sloshed around, threatening to spill out of the lid. He frowned, eyebrows knitting together. “I like giving you readings. I should have known she’d pick up on the energy and track me down.”

“Okay.” Koushi gave his arm a squeeze before pulling away. “I should get going, but I’ll try to drop by over lunch, okay?”

“You don’t have to.” Tooru said, hardly convincing.

“I know.” Koushi smiled.

True to his promise, Koushi stopped in over lunch. Hajime had shown up about fifteen minutes before, as if his best friend senses had tingled and told him Tooru was having a garbage day.

“Hey, Hajime! It’s been a while!” Koushi beamed when he spotted him on a stool behind the counter, picking at his lunch while he listened to Tooru grumble about his stupid family.

“It has been.” Hajime agreed. “How’ve you been?”

“Not bad.” Koushi turned his attention to Tooru, resting his elbows on the counter. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay.” Tooru sighed, dragging his fingers down his face.

He’d screwed up two orders once he finally opened that morning, distracted by all the dumb stuff his mom had said hours before. Hajime showing up had lifted his spirits a bit, along with Koushi’s promise to swing by.

“Good to hear.” Koushi leaned over the counter to ruffle his hair lightly.

“You must be pretty special if Tooru lets you mess with his hair without snapping.” Hajime commented, a smug smile on his face as he picked at his food.

Tooru flushed at the comment and scowled at his best friend. “I’m not that fussy about my hair! Don’t be dramatic!”

Koushi didn’t seem to notice the heat spreading across Tooru’s cheeks, grinning back at Hajime.

“Maybe that’s _my_ magical power, huh?”

They made idle talk to keep Tooru’s mind off the incident from that morning before Koushi had to head back over to his own workplace. He had left a brown bag of cookies from a nearby bakery that Tooru and Hajime were now making their way through.

“Your pining is embarrassing.” Hajime commented after Koushi had left.

“I’m not pining!” Tooru shrieked. He sighed when Hajime fixed him with an unimpressed stare. “Maybe I’m pining a little.”

“I can’t believe it’s been, like, what? Two years? It’s getting old, Tooru.”

“I should have just asked him out the day we met.” Tooru whined. “It’s way too late in the game now, and I’ll totally fuck up our friendship at this point.”

“The way he looks at you is hardly friendly, idiot.” Hajime rolled his eyes before he snatched the last cookie from the bag.

Tooru frowned at the loss, balling up the empty bag and aiming for the trashcan. It sailed in smoothly.

“Don’t get my hopes up like that.”

He thought about Hajime’s words long after he’d left. It wasn’t the first time he had brought up the abysmal crush Tooru had on Koushi and his suspicions that Tooru’s feelings were reciprocated. But Hajime had only had, like, two long term relationships. What did he know about love?

Tooru yelped, his thoughts about Koushi’s eyes being cut short. A potion was bubbling over onto the floor. He sighed, turning down the heat under the cauldron and heading to the back for a mop.

It was turning out to be an excruciatingly long day.

* * *

“Dude!” Tooru felt a hard slap on his back as he stood in line at a convenience store. He jolted, the bag of chips and soda balanced in his arms nearly tumbling onto the floor. “I’ve been meaning to text you for, like, weeks!”

Tooru turned around, meeting the wild eyes of one of his old college friends. He was still recovering from the surprise visit from his mom a few days ago, and he hadn’t completely snapped out of his thoughts. Seeing Yuu, a friend who frequently (and mistakenly) ended up in blurred photos on r/NYCGoblinSightings, felt like a breath of fresh air. 

“Hey!” Tooru laughed. “How are you?”

“Can’t complain.” Yuu shrugged. The streak of hair in the middle of his bangs that had been blonde the last time they’d hung out a few months back was now a vibrant magenta. “I played in this tournament this past weekend though, and I’m still mourning my loss. Pretty sure this dude was using an anti-exhaustion potion even though the rules were very explicit about not using magic.”

Tooru had accompanied Yuu to a few esports tournaments during their college years, and the kid kind of kicked ass when it came to gaming.

“That sucks.” Tooru agreed. He wiggled his eyebrows, adding, “But if you ever want your own sneaky potions, you know where to find me.”

Yuu laughed, way too loud for the tiny convenience store. An elf in front of them turned to glare. All that energy and not enough room in his tiny body to hold it all, Tooru thought. He had briefly wondered in the past why a shapeshifter like Yuu didn’t bother shifting into a body that was a couple of inches taller. Then again, his younger friend didn’t seem the type to care.

“Thanks, man. I appreciate the offer, though I don’t think I’ll ever take you up on it. What have you been up to?”

“Not much.” Tooru shrugged. “Working on some new stuff at the shop. I was thinking it might be kind of cool to offer workshops?”

“Oh, that’d be sick!” Yuu agreed enthusiastically. He was a great friend to bounce ideas off of, always radically supportive.

“Yeah, I think so too.” Tooru smiled. He picked at the corner of his chip bag before adding, “I’m kind of practicing giving readings lately too with a friend.”

“Woah, really?” Yuu raised his eyebrows. “That’s cool too. I kind of thought you weren’t into that kinda stuff though? Aren’t your family kind of jackass-y about it all?”

Tooru snorted. He imagined another meeting with his mom where he bluntly told her that he thought she was being _kinda jackass-y._

“Yeah, they’ve kind of turned me off of it. I don’t know, it’s been sort of nice though. No chart readings yet, though. Just some simple oracle readings.”

“That’s dope, bro. I’m really proud of you.” Yuu smiled, landing a punch on Tooru’s arm.

“Thanks.” Tooru smiled.

They set up a time to hang out the following weekend, Tooru feeling in better spirits than he had a few days before. He bounced back to his block, feeling even better when he spotted a familiar face heading into his apartment lobby.

“Hey, hold the elevator, will you?” He yelled after he had sprinted to make it into the building at the same time as his friend.

Koushi looked up from the elevator buttons, smiling when he caught Tooru’s eye.

“You look good.” He commented when Tooru shuffled into the elevator.

“Do I?” Tooru asked, quirking an eyebrow. “I feel good.”

“A nice improvement from the other day, hm?” Koushi pushed the button for their floor. He turned his attention back to Tooru, pulling at the bag in his hand to see what he’d purchased. “Planning on sharing?”

“Moocher.” Tooru teased. “Oh, Tadashi let me know the potion-making exhibit is opening up this weekend. Wanna go?”

“Can’t think of anything I’d rather do.”

* * *

The museum was bustling when they arrived a few days later. They managed to avoid the field trip groups that were common during the week, but they were exchanged with families with rambunctious children who nearly crashed into them as they made their way through the entrance.

The exhibit was nothing short of spectacular. There were tons of artifacts that Tooru had never even studied, let alone seen in person. He was always interested in learning more about his craft, and there was a wealth of information in this exhibit.

“Hey, look who it is!” Tooru all but yelled when they spotted Kei hovering near one of the cases. “Kei! And cute intern!”

At the mention of his name, Kei looked in their general direction. They weren’t close enough to hear Kei’s sigh, but it was visible as they made their way towards the pair. Tsutomu had obviously heard Tooru too if the blush on his cheeks was any indication. Tooru snickered.

“Don’t torment these poor guys too much. They’re working on a weekend. Isn’t that punishment enough?” Koushi elbowed Tooru.

“I see you stopped by.” Kei commented lamely. “It’s nice to see you, Koushi.”

“Likewise! You really outdid yourself here, Kei.”

“I helped! I’m his intern, Tsutomu Goshiki.” Tsutomu stuck his hand out towards Koushi.

“Nice to meet you! Seems like you’ve ended up with a pretty talented supervisor, huh?”

Kei looked away, flushing under the compliment. Tooru was envious that Koushi could break through even Kei’s stoicism, but it didn’t come as a surprise. He had often fallen under similar comments from Koushi, and it was hard to not feel bashful under such genuine praise.

“Kei is the best.” Tsutomu agreed. He addressed Tooru, eyes shining, “I really liked that potion you gave us. Are you selling it in bigger batches? I think it’d make a fun gift for my cousin’s birthday in a few weeks.”

“Yes! You should stop by sometime! I’ll give you a friend of a friend discount.”

“We are not friends.” Kei scowled at Tooru. Kei turned to Tsutomu to add, “And _we_ are not friends either. We are colleagues.”

“We’re _colleagues?”_ Tsutomu asked, the look he gave Kei almost reverent. 

“Don’t make that sound more intimate than friendship!” Kei snapped, pushing his glasses up.

“Okay, a colleague of a friend discount then.” Tooru clarified, grinning.

“We’re _not friends!”_ Kei repeated to a chorus of laughter.

After parting ways with the duo, Tooru and Koushi made their way through the rest of the museum. They’d come a few times in the past once they’d learned that Kei worked there, but it’d been a while since their last visit. 

The exhibits alternated pretty frequently, so they got a chance to see a collection based around the history of the culinary techniques of local water-spirits, along with a short film about the evolution of the Northeastern Red-Winged Phoenix.

“We really need to stop by more often.” Koushi said once they were heading back home, bending the museum map back and forth in between his palms. “Kei needs more company.”

“I’m not sure I’m the company he’s interested in, though I couldn’t tell you _why.”_ Tooru flashed Koushi a grin. The subway car clattered over the uneven track, bumping their shoulders together.

“Oh, yeah. You’re an absolute delight.” Koushi deadpanned.

“So mean.” Tooru whined. He hesitated for a second before leaning his head on top of Koushi’s. “I think his intern found me delightful, at least.”

“I think _you_ found his _intern_ delightful, is what you mean. You really lay the flirting on thick, huh?”

Tooru almost regretted choosing to rest his head against Koushi’s because it was difficult to read his expression from this angle. His tone didn’t sound jealous, but Koushi was pretty good about keeping his emotions from slipping out through voice alone.

“Pretty boys like that make it too easy.” Tooru admitted. “You should have seen the way he was fawning over me when they visited my shop.”

“You need someone to keep that ego of yours in check.” Koushi reached over to pinch Tooru’s side.

Tooru yelped, batting Koushi’s hand away.

“Isn’t that your job?” Tooru huffed.

“I don’t get paid enough.” Koushi teased. “I’m resigning from my position.”

“What if I paid for takeout tonight?”

Koushi tilted his head up so he could get a good look at Tooru.

“I’ve decided to delay my resignation.”

* * *

Takeout that night was accompanied by a few beers and a movie, leaving them a little less sober than Tooru may have liked when Koushi blurted out, “Give me a reading?”

“Now?” Tooru rubbed his eyes. The movie credits were rolling, though he had mostly just been zoning out and thinking about how Koushi smelled like cinnamon and vanilla during the second half of the movie.

“I mean you don’t _have_ to. I just don’t feel like watching another movie.” Koushi squirmed on the couch. He didn’t get tipsy too often, but Tooru had learned that he became pretty restless when he was under any kind of influence. His energy was endearing, but Tooru was actually pretty tired himself.

“It’s like midnight, Kou. You could just go to bed if you don’t feel like watching another movie.” Tooru threw him a lazy smile.

“You’re no fun!” Koushi threw a punch to Tooru’s shoulder. “I’ve been reflecting and _everything.”_

“Huh?” Tooru asked, squinting at Koushi, who was pouting. The childish expression was unfairly cute on someone like Koushi.

“The card from last time, remember? The shark and,” Koushi waved his hand around vaguely, “whatever.”

“Oh. Yeah. What about reflecting?”

“I’ve been reflecting!” Koushi repeated louder.

“Okay,” Tooru laughed, “on what, exactly?”

“Myself.” Koushi frowned. “I wish…”

Tooru waited, though Koushi looked as though he’d spaced out with no chance of return. Tooru was getting ready to cut in with another comment when Koushi piped up again.

“I wish I was born anyone other than myself sometimes, you know?” Koushi looked over at Tooru bitterly, and he seemed a lot less tipsy than he had only moments before. “It sucks. Being average. And boring.”

“You aren’t—”

“I am.” Koushi stopped Tooru before he could argue with Koushi. “I’m, like, trying to come to terms with it, I guess. I know I’m not a horrible person, but I have all these wonderful, talented friends, and I’m just…”

“Also wonderful and talented!” Tooru kicked Koushi in the shin, scowling.

“You’re never going to understand what this feels like.” Koushi says softly, giving Tooru an unplaceable look. “And that’s okay, but pity is, like, the last thing I want.”

“I’m not pitying you.” Tooru said honestly. Koushi didn’t look away from the wall he’d decided to fix his eyes on. Tooru tried a joke. “I’m trying to be your shark pack.”

Koushi snorted at this.

“Shut _up_.”

Tooru grinned, shifting closer on the couch.

“If you really, _really_ want a reading, I _guess_ I could give you one.”

“How gracious of you.” Koushi rolled his eyes but turned to meet Tooru’s gaze. “I think it might help me get my mind off this.”

Tooru nodded. They set the room up for a reading, the process becoming more routine and faster with each practice. Tooru felt as though this time they were practicing more for Koushi’s sake than his own. Maybe that meant that the readings were finally finding a more natural place in his world.

“Okay, what’s the question tonight?” He looked up. He’d hoped this would put Koushi more at ease, but, if anything, his friend looked more on edge.

“I, um,” Koushi swallowed, staring at the table intently, “would like to know what’s standing in the way of love for me.”

Tooru nearly dropped the cards all over the table. He stared at Koushi’s pink cheeks, fairly certain it wasn’t from the alcohol in his system.

“I feel like…maybe this isn’t the best reading for me to give.” Tooru cleared his throat. He had no idea Koushi’s love life was even something that his friend gave much thought to. “It feels a little personal?”

“Aren’t all readings a little personal?” Koushi’s eyebrows furrowed, frowning.

“I-I guess.” Tooru stuttered.

Maybe part of him wanted to give this reading, if only to feed his own curiosity. Was there someone Koushi was interested in that he hadn’t told Tooru about? It’s not like he had to share every intimate detail of his life with Tooru, but he’d assumed they were close enough to mention romantic interests. Unless the interest was in the person in question, such as was Tooru’s case. But Koushi would never have eyes for him, that Tooru was certain of.

He hoped his hands weren’t shaking too noticeably as he splayed the cards out across the table in two flares. It felt like forever before Koushi decided on a card toward the left end of the second pile. He flipped it over, and Tooru almost laughed at the face of the card.

A sleek mole sat in a pile of rich green grass, a hole burrowed in the patch of dirt beside it. The mole’s arms were outstretched, reaching for something beyond the card. At the bottom was the word _BLIND._

Tooru’s gut reactions to the cards had been growing faster and faster with each reading they did. This time was no exception.

“You’re ignoring things that are right in front of you.” Tooru cut to the chase, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible. He could always reflect further on the implications when he was alone, but laying it out on the table (literally) for Koushi like this was mortifying beyond belief. “It might be external stuff, or you could just be turning a blind eye to internal problems that are on the foreground.”

Koushi sighed, crossing his arms. This clearly wasn’t a satisfying answer for him.

“Whether you’re being willfully ignorant or honestly can’t see what’s stopping you from—” Tooru struggled to not trip over the words, “—from finding love, you’re clearly not looking something in the face.”

Koushi groaned, dropping his head on the table. “I’ve been trying to ignore the fact that I’m absolutely mediocre, and that’s why I’ll never land a date. I just need to accept it and find some equally boring person to settle down with.”

 _No, it’s because you’re blind to the fact that I’ve been pining over you for years, stupid!_ Tooru wanted to yell.

“You’re fucking ridiculous.” He settled on eventually, words coming out with more bite than he’d intended. He immediately regretted it, especially when Koushi pulled his head up from the table to glare at Tooru. Sobriety had returned to both of them through this exercise.

“You could literally never even begin to understand this.” Koushi scowled. “You’ve got this family legacy shit behind you and all this charm, and you have people falling over you left and right. That intern kid is probably texting all his friends right now about the cute potion-maker he met again at the museum. You’re never going to understand what it feels like to be so absolutely _ordinary.”_

“I _wish_ I knew what it was like to feel ordinary!” Tooru snapped back. “I wish I didn’t have this ‘family legacy shit’ holding me down all the time! I don’t know why you’ve built up this weird idea that you need to have some sort of magical heritage to be likable or whatever, but it’s shitty and stupid.”

“You know what? You were right,” Koushi’s knees knocked against the leg of the table in his haste to stand up, “this was a bad idea. Just forget it.”

Tooru watched, mouth dry, as Koushi grabbed his jacket and shoes, slamming Tooru’s apartment door shut behind him. When his legs finally willed him to move from the table, he realized Koushi had grabbed Tooru’s jacket by mistake. Tooru sighed, picking Koushi’s actual jacket up off the back of his kitchen chair and hanging it in the closet.

He returned to the table to pack up his deck of cards, which were radiating an unnerving and powerful energy. Tooru tried not to think about it as he made his way to his bedroom, placing the deck on his nightstand and crawling under the covers.

He woke up in a cold sweat a few hours later. He pushed his bangs back, eyes wide.

Had Koushi called him cute?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howdy!! thanks for sticking around for chapter 2!!!!! i had fun wrapping up this chapter finally.... as u can see, we have some self-loathing suga off to the right and some dumbass oikawa to the left.... i hope you've enjoyed your tour shfggjgd
> 
> um but seriously, if you read this massive update, thanks!! the next part will be the final chapter, i believe? the way this chapter ended sort of strayed from my original vision, so i have to rework a couple of the ideas i had for the third installment, but i think it should still turn out okay...
> 
> tried to show some diversity w suga's character, especially towards the end here.. might have gone a bit overboard 😳
> 
> i've recently become enamored with lev and goshiki (unfortunately, seeing as they're both idiots), so i had to throw them in... also lev is on a date with yaku (poor yaku)
> 
> drop a comment if you're inclined!! i love feedback and hearing people's thoughts!!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Give me ground to stand on](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27463258) by [clear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/clear/pseuds/clear)




End file.
